Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.flame,alt.conspiracy,alt.privacy From: elg9316@ucs.usl.edu (Green Eric L) Subject: Re: STARTLING DISCOVERY (was: WARNING!!! BIG BROTHER) Organization: Univ. of Southwestern La., Lafayette Date: Wed, 1 Dec 1993 05:38:42 GMT In article oswalt@netcom.com (Ed Oswalt) writes: >Now, here is further evidence. I realized the signal from the "smoke >detectors" could not be strong enough to reach the CIA, etc. Have you >ever wondered why, 50 years after the development of modern radio, the >existing technology suddenly came into widespread use in cellular telephones >so quickly once smoke detectors were in place? It is clear to me the cellular >network was really developed to transmit smoke detector spy signals! Hold it, have you ever opened up the cover on one of those Telephone Network Interface boxes that Baby Bell is installing on the outside of every home nowdays, and seen that cube inside which says "Warning, Do Not Open"? Obviously, THIS is what was really developed to transmit smoke detector spy signals! Cellular phones, of course, were developed for another reason -- so that the FBI etc. wouldn't need to get a wiretap to use your conversations in court. After all, it's over the airwaves, unencoded, and anybody with a scanner can listen to it. By the way, has anybody encountered the latest in CIA spy technology? They bugged my cat! True! Why, my cat wandered around the house for days dropping little rice-looking pellets all over, and it took me THAT LONG to figure that these were actually tiny passive micro-bugs activated by the powerful microwave beams put out by the transformer on the light pole that the NSA just put up in front of my house. Sure, it was put up by people wearing Electric Company overalls, but I know the difference between a REAL power company crew and a NSA crew. For one thing, with a real power company crew, there's at least three people leaning on shovels for every person actually working. Anyhow, I took my cat to the vet and the vet gave my cat a pill, but I think my vet is actually an agent of the Illuminati because she gave a secret sign to the owner of the boxer hound that came in right after me. But at least my cat quit laying micro-bugs all over. Except now I think my cat is relaying my thoughts to agents of Queen Elizabeth, because I was thinking about diamonds a few days ago and someone just "happened" to knock on my front door trying to sell me some. Everybody knows that cats can read their master's minds, after all... what if that pill that the vet gave him contained a micro-transmitter to enhance neural pulses from his spine and re-transmit them to the Russian psychics that Soviet dictators bred for generations in Siberia as secret weapons and that currency-strapped Russia is now renting out for hard cash? That means my own cat is serving as an amplifier of my thoughts to get them to a remote psychic! Anyhow, I thank all of you for the opportunity to get all of this off of my chest, because finals are next week and most of my instructors are obviously cloned from cells from Hitler's brain, which has been kept alive in Russia for all these years (it's true, check out this week's Weekly World News!). I mean, it's obvious! Just the little mustachios and the jack-boots give them away, not to mention the EXAMS that they give! Surely you don't think that any normal man could engage in such diabolical torture? No, I think they suspect that my great-great aunt on my father's side married a Jew, and .... Hmm. I think it's time to get back to studying Romantic composers for my exam in "Music Literacy" next week... By the way, Beethoven was actually a Person of Color, only, you see, this was White washed by the Aryan Conspiracy... Paranoically Yours, Eric -- Eric Lee Green elg@usl.edu (318) 984-1820 P.O. Box 92191 Lafayette, LA 70509